Grandma has lost something once again, It's not her mobile phone, her cup of tea or pen, She's looked in her bathroom, the shelves and higher, She's even looked in the washing machine and tumble dryer! Grandma tries to think of where she saw them last, She looks in places where she's left them in the past, Once she left them in the microwave, They nearly melted, that was a close shave! She's searched everywhere she can think of, The bedside tables and even the loft, She's gone down the garden and into the shed, Silly grandma, your glasses are on your head!
Harry gazes up at the sky, The stars and moon seem so high, He wonders if life is out there, And if there is, would they dare To invade Earth and capture everyone, And not rest until their evil work is done. Harry thinks, “They’ll not get me, Or my friends and not my family. I’ll punch them, I’ll kick them, I’ll do what I can, To make sure they don’t take over this land.” “I wonder what their appearance will be, Would they have one, two or even three Pairs of eyes and a great big hairy belly, Perhaps they’ll be ugly and very smelly.” “Their language will be different to ours, Whatever they speak on the Planet Mars, The King will be ginormous with a crown on his head, His will issue his orders as he’s sat on his bed. “ Harry can see something high up in space, He takes his binoculars out of their case, Harry looks closely, it’s travelling quite far, Is it a spaceship, a meteor, or a shooting star? He runs into his house and says to his dad, “We’re going to be invaded, it’s really bad, They’re landing on Earth, God’s own creation,” “It’s okay,” replies dad, “That’s the International Space Station.”
Merle Dixon is still handcuffed and is shouting in fear, He screams to God to help him, the walkers are near. They hear him screaming and bang on the locked door, Merle gains his composure, he's not asking God anymore.
He sees a handsaw knocked down in their rush to leave, He reaches over to grab it, he can get it he believes. The group arrive at the camp and Rick sees everyone: Shane, his partner, Lori, his wife and Carl, his son. Rick tells Lori that he knew she and Carl were not dead, "The family albums had been taken from our home," he said. Rick meets Daryl, and tells him about Merle's plight, It's his brother they left there, Daryl is angry and wants to fight.
Rick agrees to go to Atlanta with Daryl and look everywhere, And also Glenn and T-Dog, who feels guilty he left Merle there. While they're gone, Lori speaks to Shane about their affair, She tells him to stay away from her, he says it's not fair. The woman in the group are in the quarry getting things clean, When Carol's husband, Ed, shouts at her, Andrea intervenes. Ed slaps Carol and Shane who is angry, beats up Ed, Shane says if he sees him abuse anyone again, he's dead.
Back in Atlanta, the four men arrive at the store, They make they way up to the rooftop once more. Darryl runs onto the roof, he starts yelling and crying and, Rick and the others arrive, there's no Merle, just a severed hand!
Lori is in the woods, berries and plants need to be found, The survivor camp is hungry, a noise makes her turn round. Afraid that it's a walker, she stifles a shout, But it's Shane who appears and they start to make out.
The voice on the radio tells Rick he can get out, The walkers are feasting on the horse, he shouts, Rick grabs his weapon and a grenade by his feet, He opens the hatch and runs down the street. He runs into a young man, who is called Glenn, They make their way to his hideaway den. When they reach it, a gun is pointed at Rick's head, "You have compromised the group," a female has said.
The woman is called Andrea and she likes to be bad ass, They hear shots from the rooftop, they run up real fast. Merle Dixon is sniping walkers and behaving quite mad, Morales tries to stop him, Merle beats him up bad.
Rick takes command of the group and has to act tough, He decides the best plan is to use his handcuffs. Merle is left coupled to a pipe on the roof space, The group hatch a plan to escape, it's not safe. They slaughter a walker and drain his blood and guts, Rick and Glenn are covered, this has to work, no ifs or buts. They make their way to a nearby construction site, The horde ignores them, the plan is working, hold tight. But then to their horror, a sudden rainstorm begins, The guts are washing off, the walkers are closing in. Rick manages to run to the site and get in a truck, Glenn hotwires a sports car, that was a piece of good luck. Glenn sounds the horn and gives a loud whoop, And Rick drives the truck to get to the group. T-Dog is guarding Merle, Jacqui tells him to flee, But in his haste to unlock the handcuffs he loses the key.
To ensure Merle is safe, T-Dog locks the door, And they run to the truck to escape the gore. Just outside the city limits, Glenn speeds in his car, They're headed to their safe zone, it's not that far.
When the firework has let off its last bang and whizz, It's time to stock up on some wine and Bucks Fizz, It's getting close to that special time of year, To raise a glass of cider or perhaps a beer, And celebrate with lots of good cheer. It's time to go shopping and buy all of the toys, For all of the girls and all of the boys, A cardigan for grandma, and granddad some socks, For grandchildren cars and horses that rock, All wrapped up in a special Christmas box. Then there's shopping for our Christmas dinner, Fingers crossed, this one's a winner, Some hate parsnips, some don't like sprouts, I can't see what the fuss is about, It'll all get eaten, I have no doubt. We have to decide, give the tree some thought, Do we buy real, or something shop bought? To get the decorations I have to reach in, They're in the loft and kept in a bin, Oh my Lord, I could do with a gin! We go to the theatre to see a pantomime, I'm sure we will all have a really good time, We boo at the baddie and cheer the good guys, The Prince is the hero and slaps his thighs, After the final song, it's time for goodbyes. It's Christmas day and time for our dinner, I can confirm, this one IS a winner, Sitting around the table is my family, Laughing and joking, it's such a joy to see, It's all been worth it, there's nowhere I'd rather be.
Rick Grimes arises from his hospital bed, The flowers brought to him by Shane, are dead. He walks out of the room, there's blood on the floor, "Don't Open, Dead Inside," is sprayed on a door.
There's fingers clawing between a slight crack, What's going on? What's that? Rick's taken aback. He stumbles out into the daylight and sees, The bodies of people, do they have a disease? He gets on a bike and rides back to his home, But it's empty, his wife and his son have flown. He meets up with Morgan, who tells him all, About the demise of the world and its fall.
They go to the police station to find some guns, Their strategy for killing zombies has just begun, He hands Morgan a radio, to keep in touch, Rick wants to find his wife and son he loves so much. Rick is going to Atlanta, he's driving of course, He runs out of petrol, so rides a tame horse. On reaching Atlanta there's a lot of undead, The horse spooks, Rick falls, he has to use his head.
As the walkers devour the horse of its flesh and its bones, Rick spies a tank, he can hear the walkers and their moans, They're getting closer and Rick holds the gun to his head, Maybe in this world, he'd be better off dead. He suddenly spies a hatch underneath the tank, And makes his way quickly, he has the Lord to thank. He climbs in the tank, an undead soldier is inside, Rick shoots him, there was nowhere to hide. As Rick decides what on earth he should do, A voice crackles through the radio, a young dude, "Hey you, dumbass. Yeah, you in the tank, you cosy in there?" It's the voice of salvation, something quite rare.
I hate ironing, I really do, I hate ironing, Do you?
The clock on Alexa is showing it’s nearly time,
To go up to bed and get some shut eye,
So why am I dreading this time of the day,
When all I have to do is get into bed and say,
“Goodnight,” to my husband, “Hope you sleep well,
Is your phone on charge and please do not snore.”
I lay on my side, heave a sigh and turn off the light,
Something tells me it’s gonna be a very long night!
I’m closing my eyes, shutting out the lights of the cars,
Which are driving up and down outside in the dark,
But there’s another light in the bedroom, followed by a beep,
It’s hubby’s phone, it’s not on silent, oh god, I’m trying to sleep!
I lay in bed, still on my side, is it me or is it warm in here?
I throw off the covers to let my legs cool down,
That’s not enough, so I lay on top of the quilt, bottom stuck out,
And then I remember that ghosts could be about,
They can’t move the covers, but they could prod me,
In places where I don’t want to be prodded,
So, under the covers go my legs and my arms,
Just to make sure I don’t come to any harm.
Right, I’m comfortable now, I’ll just close my eyes
And drift into a world of nothingness,
Oh no, what’s that noise I can hear? A warthog and his mates?
No, it’s hubby snoring, he’s laying on his back, oh great.
I tenderly request that hubby moves onto his side,
No response from him, so it’s time to push him
With all my might, I manage to roll him from his back,
I do it quite often, I have now got the knack.
At last all is peaceful in the bedroom and I’m drifting off
Into the land of nod,
But suddenly I wake with a start, oh no, this is typical me,
Now, of course, I need a wee!
A visit to the bathroom is about normal for this woman,
Who is menopausal and getting older by the minute,
I sit on the toilet in the dark, I haven’t put on the light,
I’m keeping my eyes shut very tight.
Perhaps if I don’t open them at all during my trip,
I can slip back into bed and fall back asleep.
But of course, my plan goes awry,
Sometimes I could bury my face in the pillow and cry.
Right, now close your eyes and let your mind go blank,
Is what I tell myself every night,
But what is it about the wee small hours of the night,
That makes your brain go into overdrive, was what I did last week right?
I think about what I have to do tomorrow, what I did today
And when can I go food shopping and finish my ironing,
I then hear the alarm call of Alexa beeping,
I shout at her, “Forget it, Alexa, I’m sleeping.”
Written by Karen Williams